I have a bad habit of putting things down before they have begun. I am ready many times to stop something with the mindset of it will fail.
Being a tad pessimistic is something I know I am and so it becomes a double edge sword. On one side it can help you to push you into being more positive, but then it can put you into a place that you are unfamiliar with and so judgment can become clouded.
But with that there is one way to fix all and that is to talk to friends. It’s an easy fix in theory, but for many people who have pride or are not that social then it can have it’s difficulties.
The Best Remedy – don’t think about it and just do it!
What can happen apart from maybe a bit of embarrassment if what you are doing in their eyes is wrong or just strange. Friends advice would be more honest than a total stranger.
It can come in some unexpected situations
I play for a local pool team of about 12 members in total including some good friends from school from over 20 years ago. We play in league 2 and currently sit mid table. Last night though we shocked the best team in the league with a 4-3 win. It was also a great night with it also being a home match. The score has usually been a 4-3 against in previous games.
As you can see from the post main photo we have a theme of wearing Hawaiian shirts. We are well known for this and to a point is quite clever in creating a team and not looking to pretentious and to look like we just want some fun. I am at the far left in the green shirt.
I have many years experience playing pool and snooker and I was on a winning streak, but it came to a halt against a very good player. I didn’t play any different, but I felt that all night that I couldn’t control the white ball. It seemed to go wherever it wanted.
Later in the night one friend said I have a poor routine in addressing the table. At first my thought was any help is welcome as I am a recent new addition to the team. But after a while it kept nagging at me how I could have a problem that serious for so long and never notice it. It was a bizarre fight in my head to understand I have a positive fix for something but then still be thinking how could I have been so wrong all that time.
Criticism is fine but…
I was so angry with myself and yet so happy to be given great praise and constructive help. What he gave me was a pre-shot routine. I think that is the real problem with criticism in that we believe we are correct in what we do, but sometimes we just need to listen and appreciate that others have out best interests at heart.
What if in life we aim for a place that we want but don’t actually reach it? Is potential just a sad way of saying there is failure?
Nobody wants a life hoping to under achieve, it’s just all the other things that get in the way.
Christmas for me has been something that got in the way many times. I never had a big family and then when I did have they didn’t support Christmas.
But there’s more than just holidays. There are people and responsibilities to take into consideration. I would love to be doing other things that I believe I have potential for, but things happen.
My message is don’t waste your life regretting, but look at what you have and live tomorrow in a better life, because somebody might not have a tomorrow.
photo credit: Dreaming in the deep south IMG_0320 (1) via photopin (license)
I recently changed circles. My life had changed so much that I felt I did not know what to do or who I was. It truly was perplexing and stressful. I returned home to my old town which had a few changes but is mostly the same.
After 8 years the major difference was that they had all got older. For me time had stopped in my town but for them many years had passed. They had new friends and families had changed with people missing and new arrivals. All of it I had missed.
During my period of transition one striking thing I noticed was just how kind and welcoming everyone is. It is so humbling as my time in Korea was a place I missed dearly.
What made it worse was my family were still there. Saying goodbye to my 2 sons was heartbreaking beyond anything Ive felt before. No one should have to experience that. It was so hard in fact that my head was not okay for over two weeks. I am a programmer who could not concentrate on a computer.
And that then built up even more stress. To pile on that I had jet lag for over a week and then I caught bronchitis. And to really make my time more wonderful I fell down the stairs injuring my shoulder and neck.
But on the plus side I have been to the doctors and I am all good.
When I planned to come here I had ideas and a schedule but that all took a back seat as I never planned for people and emotion. It was something that punched me clean in the gut and knocked me for six as in my head I wanted to be ready to take on anything instantly.
So after nearly 4 weeks I have finally got my focus back. That was mostly due to friends, neighbors and family being there with wonderful advice.
So when I ask what matters it is the people around me as they surprised me in many happy ways. And now it is up to me to return the favor.
photo credit: Leonard J Matthews pass the parcel via photopin (license)
What makes trust?
More importanly where does it come from? I have recently put trust under the spotlight as to what makes it and why is it sometimes a case of distrust.
Earlier today I took a walk and I thought to myself, as someone walked past me, should they trust me?
I look at myself and I am in good shape, I wear decent clothes and I carried water bottle, so I seemed to know how to care for myself. Why does face value not work for us all the time?
My question is what is trust to someone that would be simply walking by?
I recently had a discussion about trust with a few friends where I deduced that for them to trust someone in a working environment they needed to have some choice in the matter in choosing to interact with that person. An example of a chosen person would be a doctor or a chef.
photo credit: U.S. Pacific Fleet 161002-N-SF984-055 via photopin (license)
A new category I did not think about before was a neutral ground. What this entailed were people such as teachers, or police where we have no option but to accept from to the system that they were trustworthy.
The bottom category included homeless people, strangers and politicians. I personally think MPs need some better profiling as they are in a stranded group. What makes it worse for them is they then want you to vote for them.
So where does distrust come from? Media has not helped much with its nationalist, religious and puerile ways. But we also have to include age and appearance that are different from our own. We live within similar environments to friends etc and so our circles stay small. The medicine here is to trust others and be open to new thinking.
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Sometimes in life, we are dealt with cruel and hard blows.
These mostly come when we are not expecting them. They can hurt us and sometimes question why we do things at all. However, we have to get back up, dust off the dirt and try again.
These times can make us challenge our beliefs. We have to question what is in our hearts and what is important to us. We need to know deep down that what we do is correct.
Sometimes problems can deviate us away from what is good and honest in our lives and then push us to places where we should not go. We all get side tracked from time to time. As I said, we cannot plan for everything but we can be prepared.
photo credit: rcmd_tagcoor_10_2 5101200491.jpg via photopin (license)
Who are we?
One way to look at change in life is to think of the circles that we live in. Think of the 10 people you spend the most time with. Those 10 people make up whom you are. So, think about them for a moment, including their characteristics and what you admire.
Let’s wrap up.
When problems face us, the best thing to do is to firstly accept the situation. You should look for positives in whatever you are facing. The small positive elements that you find work like toy building bricks in that over time those bricks build up to become something much bigger and so much more positive than previously thought.
Our characteristics in life come from the people we spend the most time with. We have various and different influences to help us grow and improve. Those people are the ones we should talk to and help us understand what we should be doing.
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It is now September and the summer heat has reduced.
During the summer I would readily ride my bike outside doing 40K a week in smaller intervals with the mission of speed.
Bike for sale, one not so careful owner. 🙂
At that time it was purely for exercise and I would be in the same location and pushing my ability more and more each time, but now the temperature has dropped and my health is at a happy and acceptable level I find now it should be more of a traveling time.
So far this month I have done two 20km and two 30km rides and it’s been wonderful to be out in a cooler sun and to enjoy the end of summer. I ride around mostly in the countryside along the rivers as there are wonderful bike tracks that follow along the edges wherever they may flow.
A bike track 12km from home.
I also see and chat to other riders as I go along. People chat and ask simple questions such as where are you from , how often do you go out cycling and aslo comparing bikes. I find it interesting to talk to complete strangers as we are brought together with something in common.